I think probably one of the most destructive attitudes in the United States today is that of entitlement. You cannot walk down the street without running into someone that thinks they deserve better than what they have. We cannot abide to live in less than luxury, so we spend more money than we have on cars, clothes and furnishings. We live in a way that cannot possibly be supported, and we think that all of this is everyone's fault but our own.
I have to wonder what that attitude says to God. What does that attitude say to those who live on less than a dollar a day? What does that attitude say to our parents and grandparents who sacrificed so much so that we could live such trite lives? We live completely stressed out because we buy things that we can't pay for, then we get used to that lifestyle and have to buy more crap we can't afford and we are caught in an ever deepening trench of debt and greed. It has to end somewhere. If we don't get our crap together, if we don't realize that we are not entitled to live like those shallow imitations of humanity we see on tv, we are destined to get exactly what we want. We will sacrifice friendship, family, good health, integrity; all at the altar of getting what they have. We will give away our humanity simply to have whatever we want now, and it just is not worth it. I hope people will wake up soon, realize they don't need everything at the store, they don't need a new BMW, people have survived, even thrived on much less. Maybe we will all be a lot better if our country goes broke, at least then we will be able to focus on what really matters.
11.12.2007
11.06.2007
Going Home
50th and Barnes. Penn. MacArthur. 23rd and Drexel. 36th and May. I used to know these streets. I used to drive them and walk them daily. In fact, it was rare for me to be anywhere but them. They used to be home.
The first year of college I would go there and it was still home. I would travel those streets like I was just there yesterday. The storefronts were familiar, the phone rang off the hook with people wanting to hang out. Everything there was home then. Things began to change, gradually. "Home" got more fuzzy. I couldn't remember the streets as well, people didn't call as much, no one knew if I came home, something, at some point, changed.
Now home is Forrester, Martin Luther King Drive, Lakeshore. I am not an integral part of any community, but merely a nameless face in the crowd most days. Everything has changed. I don't go home to Oklahoma City anymore, I go visit family, and a couple friends. I still consider myself an Okie, because it is almost unbearable to consider myself a Texan, but in reality, my prime years have all come in Texas. I graduated college, will soon, God willing, graduate seminary, I was married here. I preached my first sermon, and ate at P.F. Changs for the first time here. My wife is a Texan, so there is a certain affinity there, soon we will both be Colorado(-ans?). Things change, and that is a hard realization, but I feel very fortunate to have a few people in my life that, though they change and grow and mature, will be there.
I realize that instead of identifying myself by Barnes, or Lakeshore, or Forrester, or Austin, I can identify myself with Robin, and Grant, and Abby and Ginnie and Roberta and Desiree and Tyler, Erin and Bethany, Chris and Casey. People are what matters and what is comfortable, what is lovely and worth living for. I am so blessed to have been the places I have been, but those places only matter because of the people there. Soon the places I know now will be the past, but I can pray and hope that the people I love will still be where I am and that will make it home.
The first year of college I would go there and it was still home. I would travel those streets like I was just there yesterday. The storefronts were familiar, the phone rang off the hook with people wanting to hang out. Everything there was home then. Things began to change, gradually. "Home" got more fuzzy. I couldn't remember the streets as well, people didn't call as much, no one knew if I came home, something, at some point, changed.
Now home is Forrester, Martin Luther King Drive, Lakeshore. I am not an integral part of any community, but merely a nameless face in the crowd most days. Everything has changed. I don't go home to Oklahoma City anymore, I go visit family, and a couple friends. I still consider myself an Okie, because it is almost unbearable to consider myself a Texan, but in reality, my prime years have all come in Texas. I graduated college, will soon, God willing, graduate seminary, I was married here. I preached my first sermon, and ate at P.F. Changs for the first time here. My wife is a Texan, so there is a certain affinity there, soon we will both be Colorado(-ans?). Things change, and that is a hard realization, but I feel very fortunate to have a few people in my life that, though they change and grow and mature, will be there.
I realize that instead of identifying myself by Barnes, or Lakeshore, or Forrester, or Austin, I can identify myself with Robin, and Grant, and Abby and Ginnie and Roberta and Desiree and Tyler, Erin and Bethany, Chris and Casey. People are what matters and what is comfortable, what is lovely and worth living for. I am so blessed to have been the places I have been, but those places only matter because of the people there. Soon the places I know now will be the past, but I can pray and hope that the people I love will still be where I am and that will make it home.
10.28.2007
finishing
I guess I haven't posted much lately, bigger fish to fry you could say. Such as a 20 page paper, multiple exegesis, translating the end of Isaiah, things like that.
As I am trying to finish up seminary, I have found new challenges. I am not overly busy now, but I still struggle with the ability to focus enough to get my stuff done. I am not on the verge of burnout, but I do get to the point where I would like some interaction with people that aren't Christians, or on their way to being professional Christians. Many times I find myself just wishing that there was some way that someone could just beam all the information I needed into my head, but I think that would really deprive me of a large part of the journey. I think part of the preparation of seminary is that difficulty of doing on a consistent basis that which you don't really want to do, but know that will help you on down the road.
I hate memorizing vocabulary for Hebrew, but the more I memorize the easier translation gets. Odd I know. I think in some strange way, God is preparing me, and Robin as well, for part of our life when we are working in some way on a church plant, that maybe we do things in the beginning that do not pay off immediately, but we can see that down the road, God will reward our diligence. I pray that this is the case.
As I am trying to finish up seminary, I have found new challenges. I am not overly busy now, but I still struggle with the ability to focus enough to get my stuff done. I am not on the verge of burnout, but I do get to the point where I would like some interaction with people that aren't Christians, or on their way to being professional Christians. Many times I find myself just wishing that there was some way that someone could just beam all the information I needed into my head, but I think that would really deprive me of a large part of the journey. I think part of the preparation of seminary is that difficulty of doing on a consistent basis that which you don't really want to do, but know that will help you on down the road.
I hate memorizing vocabulary for Hebrew, but the more I memorize the easier translation gets. Odd I know. I think in some strange way, God is preparing me, and Robin as well, for part of our life when we are working in some way on a church plant, that maybe we do things in the beginning that do not pay off immediately, but we can see that down the road, God will reward our diligence. I pray that this is the case.
8.25.2007
story
when i was a kid, i would often sit in my bed for an entire day and read. sometimes i would skip meals, delay going to the bathroom, or refuse to shower all because i was so wrapped up in these wonderful stories. most of the time the stories were about warriors and dragons, although sometimes they were about jedis or xmen. inevitably, i would reach the end and i would become incredibly sad. i was reminded of the feeling as i finished the last harry potter book. the feeling that this wonderful universe full of characters that you loved and knew is gone. the feeling that these loved ones are no longer available to you.
i suppose i was always so wrapped up in these stories because it gave me an escape from a life that i wasnt too fond of. i didnt like my family much, i felt like they just existed to make my life miserable (unfortunately it took me until college to realize just how good my sisters were to me, and how hard my mom always worked for me). so, instead, i immersed myself with characters that fought battles that mattered and people whose lives were full of impact, while mine, mine was simply me reading a book under my covers.
the reason i think endings make me so sad is that it just isnt natural. science, history, fact tells me that endings are a part of the world. people come and go in this world and that is always the way it has been and always the way it will be, until the universe itself goes. but when i compare that to the bible, i find a different story entirely. i find a book that tells me that life was not always on the verge of ending. and i find a book that tells me that someday, life will go on and on. someday, i will not have to be sad about endings, because they will merely, truly be new beginnings. that our creative creator will someday consummate his creation completely, will turn us into beings that will no longer have a finite timeline, will take us to a place that has not been ruined by our blaise sinfulness. i think we are always sad when things end because our hearts were made for eternity, and our god has intended for us much more than we currently are. we are discontent with our current lives for a very good reason, there exists for us a reality which we cannot even imagine. a place and a time that will not end, and that will not lead us to want to escape to fictional worlds or characters because the world in which we will live and the character which we will be will be the one designed for us from before the world. this is the hope that we have as christians, let us hope that he comes quickly.
i suppose i was always so wrapped up in these stories because it gave me an escape from a life that i wasnt too fond of. i didnt like my family much, i felt like they just existed to make my life miserable (unfortunately it took me until college to realize just how good my sisters were to me, and how hard my mom always worked for me). so, instead, i immersed myself with characters that fought battles that mattered and people whose lives were full of impact, while mine, mine was simply me reading a book under my covers.
the reason i think endings make me so sad is that it just isnt natural. science, history, fact tells me that endings are a part of the world. people come and go in this world and that is always the way it has been and always the way it will be, until the universe itself goes. but when i compare that to the bible, i find a different story entirely. i find a book that tells me that life was not always on the verge of ending. and i find a book that tells me that someday, life will go on and on. someday, i will not have to be sad about endings, because they will merely, truly be new beginnings. that our creative creator will someday consummate his creation completely, will turn us into beings that will no longer have a finite timeline, will take us to a place that has not been ruined by our blaise sinfulness. i think we are always sad when things end because our hearts were made for eternity, and our god has intended for us much more than we currently are. we are discontent with our current lives for a very good reason, there exists for us a reality which we cannot even imagine. a place and a time that will not end, and that will not lead us to want to escape to fictional worlds or characters because the world in which we will live and the character which we will be will be the one designed for us from before the world. this is the hope that we have as christians, let us hope that he comes quickly.
8.12.2007
the mirror of erised
i love the harry potter books, love them, and one of my favorite parts is that there is a mirror in the first one called the mirror of erised. in this mirror the person will see whatever is the deepest longing of his heart. dumbledore says that the happiest person in the world would look and see himself exactly as he is. i wonder what i would see?
many times i think i would see myself with a normal life, a life without so much difficulty, a life that i could grow up like a normal kid, knowing my dad, not living so afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being hurt. and then i think about some other people, and i think they might very well wish they had my life. they may have grown up without friends, they may not have a spouse who cherishes them deeply, they may not know their creator as a friend. i think what i would see is myself leading an easy life, but then i think about what god would wish me to see.
i think he would want me to see myself, standing very closely with him, and whatever it would take to get there.
many times i think i would see myself with a normal life, a life without so much difficulty, a life that i could grow up like a normal kid, knowing my dad, not living so afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being hurt. and then i think about some other people, and i think they might very well wish they had my life. they may have grown up without friends, they may not have a spouse who cherishes them deeply, they may not know their creator as a friend. i think what i would see is myself leading an easy life, but then i think about what god would wish me to see.
i think he would want me to see myself, standing very closely with him, and whatever it would take to get there.
7.28.2007
moving on
it is always difficult to move on. we recently completed a move from a church we helped to start to a town where we are pretty much anonymous. this is a change. i am enjoying it so far, but we only have really one friend a piece here, so it will be a challenge. there are plenty of people i enjoy here in waco, but not a ton that i can really confide in, or talk to. so now we start afresh. we will have to learn people again, find a new place to belong and find new places to do what we like to do.
my heart is really in denver, and i know i should do my best to put all my energies into finishing my education in the coming year, the whole reason we moved in the first place. that will also be a challenge.
my heart is really in denver, and i know i should do my best to put all my energies into finishing my education in the coming year, the whole reason we moved in the first place. that will also be a challenge.
6.18.2007
evangelism
for the two of you that regularly check out this blog, sorry for the delay in posts, i have felt uninspired lately. i need a change of scenery.
something that still provides me not only with regular mental exercise, but also an opportunity to share who god is are two of my coworkers at starbucks. their names are jimmy and chris, and i would ask if you know them to please not mention this blog. i value them for their friendship and i would never want them to believe that they were a project to me. however, they both claim to be atheists, and have a very bad taste for christianity in general.
chris grew up in a christian home, but somewhere along the way he was wounded by christians and turned his back on christ. jimmy didnt grow up in a christian home, but also has been wounded and negatively affected by christians in general. i feel like with both of them i have reached a level of relationship that i can be honest about what i believe, and know that they can be honest about what they believe. both are extremely intelligent and do not feel the need to pretend to be something they are not. this is the thing that breaks my heart about both, i asked each seperately if they would have an easier time believing in christ if christians werent such idiots so often. both said yes.
we each have to ask ourselves if we give people like this bad tastes in their mouths, or if we are sure that we represent christ accurately. only when we have done that, when we have earned the right to be listened to, can we share that the god of the universe loves these people, and that he wants desperately to know them and for them to know him. if we do not live as christ does, we do not earn that right.
something that still provides me not only with regular mental exercise, but also an opportunity to share who god is are two of my coworkers at starbucks. their names are jimmy and chris, and i would ask if you know them to please not mention this blog. i value them for their friendship and i would never want them to believe that they were a project to me. however, they both claim to be atheists, and have a very bad taste for christianity in general.
chris grew up in a christian home, but somewhere along the way he was wounded by christians and turned his back on christ. jimmy didnt grow up in a christian home, but also has been wounded and negatively affected by christians in general. i feel like with both of them i have reached a level of relationship that i can be honest about what i believe, and know that they can be honest about what they believe. both are extremely intelligent and do not feel the need to pretend to be something they are not. this is the thing that breaks my heart about both, i asked each seperately if they would have an easier time believing in christ if christians werent such idiots so often. both said yes.
we each have to ask ourselves if we give people like this bad tastes in their mouths, or if we are sure that we represent christ accurately. only when we have done that, when we have earned the right to be listened to, can we share that the god of the universe loves these people, and that he wants desperately to know them and for them to know him. if we do not live as christ does, we do not earn that right.
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