story

when i was a kid, i would often sit in my bed for an entire day and read. sometimes i would skip meals, delay going to the bathroom, or refuse to shower all because i was so wrapped up in these wonderful stories. most of the time the stories were about warriors and dragons, although sometimes they were about jedis or xmen. inevitably, i would reach the end and i would become incredibly sad. i was reminded of the feeling as i finished the last harry potter book. the feeling that this wonderful universe full of characters that you loved and knew is gone. the feeling that these loved ones are no longer available to you.

i suppose i was always so wrapped up in these stories because it gave me an escape from a life that i wasnt too fond of. i didnt like my family much, i felt like they just existed to make my life miserable (unfortunately it took me until college to realize just how good my sisters were to me, and how hard my mom always worked for me). so, instead, i immersed myself with characters that fought battles that mattered and people whose lives were full of impact, while mine, mine was simply me reading a book under my covers.

the reason i think endings make me so sad is that it just isnt natural. science, history, fact tells me that endings are a part of the world. people come and go in this world and that is always the way it has been and always the way it will be, until the universe itself goes. but when i compare that to the bible, i find a different story entirely. i find a book that tells me that life was not always on the verge of ending. and i find a book that tells me that someday, life will go on and on. someday, i will not have to be sad about endings, because they will merely, truly be new beginnings. that our creative creator will someday consummate his creation completely, will turn us into beings that will no longer have a finite timeline, will take us to a place that has not been ruined by our blaise sinfulness. i think we are always sad when things end because our hearts were made for eternity, and our god has intended for us much more than we currently are. we are discontent with our current lives for a very good reason, there exists for us a reality which we cannot even imagine. a place and a time that will not end, and that will not lead us to want to escape to fictional worlds or characters because the world in which we will live and the character which we will be will be the one designed for us from before the world. this is the hope that we have as christians, let us hope that he comes quickly.

the mirror of erised

i love the harry potter books, love them, and one of my favorite parts is that there is a mirror in the first one called the mirror of erised. in this mirror the person will see whatever is the deepest longing of his heart. dumbledore says that the happiest person in the world would look and see himself exactly as he is. i wonder what i would see?
many times i think i would see myself with a normal life, a life without so much difficulty, a life that i could grow up like a normal kid, knowing my dad, not living so afraid of being betrayed, afraid of being hurt. and then i think about some other people, and i think they might very well wish they had my life. they may have grown up without friends, they may not have a spouse who cherishes them deeply, they may not know their creator as a friend. i think what i would see is myself leading an easy life, but then i think about what god would wish me to see.
i think he would want me to see myself, standing very closely with him, and whatever it would take to get there.