Bigger, Stronger, Faster

The documentary by that title is pretty fascinating. Basically, this buff guy follows around these other buff guys and tries to figure out why everyone hates Barry Bonds.

Well, that's not exactly it, but it is about steroids. And it is about everyone's reaction to steroids. And it's about the myths of steroids. Basically, the guy making the documentary comes to the conclusion that 'roids are a great way to get much bigger, strong and faster without too much risk, as long as they are done correctly.

And I think in our churches we have subscribed to the same notion. We have started to believe it possible to build our churches bigger, stronger and faster. We are shocked if our numbers stay in double digits much more than a month or two. We expect giving to increase annually and if it doesn't something is wrong. We want larger buildings, better fleets, faster sermons and bigger communities.

Basically, we want it all supersized.

And that really pisses me off.

Churches should be built person by person, brick by brick. If you told someone building a house that they should be able to get more than one brick going at a time, they would think you probably hadn't built a house. And if you told Jesus that 12 disciples were good, but 200 are better, he probably wouldn't care much. He would know what the bricklayer knows. And that is that quality takes time. Quality takes care and it takes patience.

And if we want to build a better kind of church, if we are looking to build a better kind of community, then it should take time. Lives don't change overnight, at least not on average. Lives change step by step, hour by hour. They change one relationship at a time. And people come to right relationship with Jesus over time, one step at a time, one tough decision at a time.

So while the temptation is to fill the doors in any way possible, I think we have to eschew that for the slow, difficult process of helping each person that comes our way. We have to help them so that hopefully soon, they can start helping someone too. And then, we have two helping hands instead of one. Then people are able to multiply, and then we have a strong foundation of a church slowly built. And I believe the original 12 would say we were on to something. But we can't take too much credit, Jesus was onto it first.

Why I am (usually) overwhelmed by God's goodness

Now, I have to throw in the (usually) in the title because, unfortunately I am sometimes so focused on my own personal wants or whatever that I forget the overwhelming goodness of God. But often at or before or after church I can't help but remember.

In an ideal world, I would only be employed by our church, I would be able to devote all my time to dreaming and thinking and studying and working on all those things. But this world is not that world. I don't have all kinds of time to devote to those things, notice my conspicuous absence from the blog scene all too frequently.

But even though I am not usually confident heading into church, somehow God regularly uses the words that I speak. It would be nice if it was due to some latent talent or incredible wit on my part, but truly neither of those things could change anyone. If I was the most talented speaker in the world, and if I had days and weeks to dream up clever and insightful things to say, at the end of it all only God can help people in the ways that they need. At the end, only God can effectively speak into people's hearts and minds.

None of that is to say that I am completely left out of the process. Not at all. The goodness of God is that he lets me help. He lets me be a coworker, albeit a vastly inferior one. I firmly believe that God, at his heart, is trinity. Because of that, God values community above all because he was community before everything else. He has invited us to take part in that community and that includes community work. In the community work, we labor to speak truth, to call to repentance, to laugh, cry and love well.

Sometimes I wish we would grow numerically more quickly, that God would bless us with hundreds, thousands overnight. But then I remember that my standards are not his, and my idea of success is a Porsche or a book deal. But God's kingdom is invisible, and his standard of success is simply: Did you love well?

Did you? Did we?

Family

The other night at church we talked about family. Specifically, the new family of God. I think that our blood family, our flesh and blood, are usually meant to be temporary measures (other than marriage). I think parents are only called to be parents for enough time to get their kids out into the world. Then, those kids are responsible to God.

Now, this topic is both easy and difficult for me for the same reasons. It is easy because my dad gave up on parenting pretty early. I honestly didn't have much of a relationship with him. My mom kind of gave up the ghost on parenting because she could only focus on making enough to get us by. My sisters are both great people, and my grandma may be the kindest person I have ever known, but ultimately none of them could fulfill the role that I would need. And I think that is true for all of us. It was probably easier for me to grasp because of the unavoidable observation that my family fell pretty short, specifically my dad and mom.

But because of that, I filled the void with friends, and with Christian community. While I am still very poor at community, I have been blessed to recognize the ultimate importance of it. God himself is community, God exists in three persons in one, God created us for community, so it is in our very DNA. And though our DNA family may seem like an end, it is, in my opinion, there to serve a temporary role of teaching us that we belong with others. Idiotic shows like the Bachelorette exist because at their deepest, most vulnerable, people long to be in community. So much that they will attempt to marry people they met a few months ago.

And while it is easy for me to point out idiocy there, it exists in sports teams, nerd conventions (like comic-con) and watching dumb movies. I don't think we should give up all those things, but I do think we should recognize the underlying need that they are manifesting. We all want to be part of the team, we all want someone to love us, we all want someone to share our interests, because we are, in some strange way, an extension of the eternal trinity.