What happens if I bring a really crappy sermon tomorrow night? Will people understand that I just had a hard time prepping this week? Did I have a hard time, or was I lazy?
I should have included that movie I saw. There was a much better quote in a magazine. That was most likely not very good exegesis.
Those are thoughts that run through my head weekly. I struggle because on one hand, it is pretty important to the life of our church if I do a good job. But on the other hand, God is the only one that is really all that important. But I am also important.
It is always such a struggle. I am upset with myself for not having a perfect sermon, or for forgetting an announcement, or for not prepping as much as I should.
I don't really know if I'm going anywhere with this, but I guess if I am this is what I'm thinking: I have to do my best, but I also have to recognize that my best without God's intervention will always fall short. My worst with God's intervention will still work, but I think God much less likely to intervene if I am not putting forth the effort. And honestly, it might be awhile before I can spend the kind of time I would like on sermons and bible studies and whatnot.
8.20.2010
8.12.2010
The land between
I have been hearing a lot lately about a place between places. First at a leadership conference, then at a service in which my friend was playing percussion. Both sermons were about the difficulty of leaving a place that you knew wasn't the best, and journeying to a place that should be.
I think most of us have experienced that kind of pain. I knew I was supposed to be planting a church outside of the bible belt, but had to finish my seminary degree. I knew I wanted to marry Robin, but I had to wait for a proper wedding to be planned. When I was in high school I knew I wanted to be in college, but had to wait until after I graduated. And the list could go on. I have spent my entire life simply looking forward to the next event or thing that would make my life full.
And I think that approach is completely wrong. I think we are called to reject the very idea of a "land between." I know the best times of my life have been when I simply accepted those things which I could not affect and did my best to learn from them and live where I was.
That is what I think God is calling us to do. Forget about the destination, because until we die we won't make it there. Every time in our lives could be labeled "transition" and we think of every place we live a simple precursor to the great place in front of us.
But some things just aren't ready yet. The Israelites took 40 years to make an 11 day journey because they had much to learn in those 40 years. When we pretend that we are just biding our time until we are at a better place we completely discount the lessons and the growth that God has for us in those places. We are where we are, and sometimes we can't move ourselves. So we should learn to soak it in, be content and reject the idea that there is a perfect destination.
I think most of us have experienced that kind of pain. I knew I was supposed to be planting a church outside of the bible belt, but had to finish my seminary degree. I knew I wanted to marry Robin, but I had to wait for a proper wedding to be planned. When I was in high school I knew I wanted to be in college, but had to wait until after I graduated. And the list could go on. I have spent my entire life simply looking forward to the next event or thing that would make my life full.
And I think that approach is completely wrong. I think we are called to reject the very idea of a "land between." I know the best times of my life have been when I simply accepted those things which I could not affect and did my best to learn from them and live where I was.
That is what I think God is calling us to do. Forget about the destination, because until we die we won't make it there. Every time in our lives could be labeled "transition" and we think of every place we live a simple precursor to the great place in front of us.
But some things just aren't ready yet. The Israelites took 40 years to make an 11 day journey because they had much to learn in those 40 years. When we pretend that we are just biding our time until we are at a better place we completely discount the lessons and the growth that God has for us in those places. We are where we are, and sometimes we can't move ourselves. So we should learn to soak it in, be content and reject the idea that there is a perfect destination.
8.02.2010
Community is annoying
One of the main goals of our church is to be community. But the hard part about community is that at a certain point, every person in the world gets a bit annoying. Whether it is a way they ask questions, a way they drive, how they talk to you, what they wear, I dunno. At a certain point, the newness wears off, the friendship is comfortable, and something that that person does starts to get on your nerves a bit.
And I think that is one of the primary places that community happens. It is in recognizing that the person you are hanging out with is imperfect in many ways, that they are not always funny or cool or fun, and that they are just flat out pissing you off. To me, that is where and when community happens.
It happens in that decision to not be the jerk you are hiding deep inside, it happens in recognizing that you yourself are an arrogant know-it-all, and it happens in the place where you see them as a deeply flawed, annoying as hell, son or daughter of the living God. It is where you see in them a mirror that shines on you. And you are able to let go of the illusion that you are perfect and deserve a perfect community.
I am tempted next week at church to say something on the lines of "Welcome to Refuge Community Church, we are a deeply flawed, dysfunctional, strange family, and we would love to include you in what God is up to here." But everyone would probably be annoyed with me for that.
And I think that is one of the primary places that community happens. It is in recognizing that the person you are hanging out with is imperfect in many ways, that they are not always funny or cool or fun, and that they are just flat out pissing you off. To me, that is where and when community happens.
It happens in that decision to not be the jerk you are hiding deep inside, it happens in recognizing that you yourself are an arrogant know-it-all, and it happens in the place where you see them as a deeply flawed, annoying as hell, son or daughter of the living God. It is where you see in them a mirror that shines on you. And you are able to let go of the illusion that you are perfect and deserve a perfect community.
I am tempted next week at church to say something on the lines of "Welcome to Refuge Community Church, we are a deeply flawed, dysfunctional, strange family, and we would love to include you in what God is up to here." But everyone would probably be annoyed with me for that.
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