In the name of Jesus

Just finished reading this wonderful little book by Henri Nouwen, and honestly teared up a few times. The reminders he offers in it are pretty difficult to swallow, while at the same time being fairly revolutionary.

The book was written as a series of lectures that he delivered on Christian leadership in the 21st century. The more I read the more I wanted to read. The more I thought "yes! this is what we are all missing today. this is why church is broken."

Nouwen offers that many times we are tempted to lead, Jesus is really calling us to the servant mentality of allowing ourselves to be led. We should regularly end up going where we don't want to go, and experiencing things we don't want to experience. And I kept thinking it felt really familiar.

Sometimes I just ask Jesus to let me give up on being in ministry, but I am reminded that this is where he wants me. My theological reflection leads me to trust and follow, even thought sometimes it is incredibly hard. And after reading Nouwen, I have more hope that I am doing the right thing.

At the end of the book, he talks about how he took a man who is mentally retarded with him to his leadership event. The whole time they talked about "doing it together" and after Nouwen had finished speaking, his friend stood up to say a few words. Then his friend spent time meeting people and getting to know those in attendance. His friend was not particularly well-spoken, but the whole point of it was to do it together. Jesus wants us to let others participate in the ministry, even if sometimes they don't do a great job. And that's really humbling to me.

February

Ok, really dropping the ball on my blogging resolution.

Finished up my month of diet pretty well. Ended up -14 for the month. Not as good as I hoped, but I fit into small jeans now... so that's good.

As for loving Robin better, I surprised her pretty well with an anniversary gift, so I think I'm doing pretty well on that...

Reading, I have finished 11 books so far this year, so well ahead of pace. Still sucking at my language discipline, so time to get that in gear.


I have been thinking about church quite a bit recently, and one of the main things I have come to realize is that I need to learn to appreciate wherever we are. I definitely don't mean that I should allow myself to be complacent and to think that we have arrived. But I do mean that I should learn to enjoy the ride and to be grateful for the victories that we do have.

We have had some really positive things happen since Refuge started. Just the other night I listened as people on our leadership team poured their hearts out to one another. That wasn't happening when we first started.

I meet weekly with a guy who has never really spent much time thinking about God, but since becoming part of our church he says every day has something to do with God.

We have been provided for every step of the way, we are looking to go on an overseas mission trip this calendar year, and we fight pretty well. No, Refuge is anything but perfect. But, Refuge is functional and loving. And that makes me hopeful and grateful. I can only hope we continue to grow in love and hopefully continue to add those who are not churched. If nothing else, God has been teaching me through this whole process.