faith

as robin and i begin to walk in what seems as if it will be a difficult time. i am reminded of faith. it seems like a very difficult thing, to believe in this god that is, at times, very much invisible and untouchable. i want very much to call him out, to say, hey do you realize the difficulty you are putting my beloved through, the agony she is feeling, the hard time she is having. but i know already at least a part of the answer he would give.

ye of little faith.

i doubt him after he cared so intensely and unfailingly for me and my family as we lost our primary provider, i doubt him after he has faithfully and completely provided for several mission trips that he called me to, i doubt him after he has gotten me safely thus far, still i doubt. but i can affirm, that every time, my faith, my relationship to this invisible god has been reformed, sharpened, galvanized by the crushing hammer strokes of difficulty, my faith has been shaped and molded by the adversity i have felt, why would it be any different for her?

she is on her journey as well, i believe he would say, she must have times that seem crushing, she must have times that seem like the end, otherwise she would not be refined, she would not be changed. that does not mean it is easy, no change is. but it does mean that in the end, we will look back and be grateful that we do not serve a god that promises the world, but a god that promises that some day, we will be made too great for this world, and we will only be fit for a new creation, one so fantastic that our current limited bodies would not be able to take if shown but a glimpse of it now.

that is the hope i hold, and although sometimes it feels much more like doubt, that is the faith i cherish.

humility

i read quite a few blogs, some just for what a friend calls "irritainment" and some for inspiration. most of them are christian in nature, and the thing that i come away with much of the time is, how arrogant can these people be?
i recently read a sign at starbucks, about ten minutes before i tore it down and threw it away, about a debate between ray comfort, kirk cameron and a couple of atheists. the sign talked about this debate and said that the audience was evenly divided between christians and atheists, but that the christians were very polite and well-mannered, while the atheists were rude and inconsiderate. my first question is, what relevance does that have? are we right because we were better behaved? i also want to know how they even know that.

so i guess what i think we have a problem with is that all too often we think we have it all figured out. as christians, people would be much more receptive to our message if we acted as if we didnt have it all figured out. we would all benefit quite a bit from larger doses of humility, we wonder often why jesus was so well-liked, but most churches are not. maybe its because we are so arrogant.

hell

c. s. lewis writes that hell is locked from the inside. the very essence of hell, according to lewis, is that you get your own way, you are left alone by god, to be alone. i think there is a lot to that.

maybe hell is not so much about god punishing us for what we have done, but more about allowing us to live with our choice. or i suppose, to die with our choice. when a person chooses against god and chooses against his eternal life, that person is choosing solitude, but when a person chooses eternal life, he is choosing community, relationship.

now it is certainly possible to choose relationship from a selfish standpoint, but i just wonder if that is even true relationship. is it possible to continue to progress in a relationship if it does not continually become more about the other person and less about ourselves?

i realize that according to some this may be venturing into the arena of heresy, but those people probably dont read this. i think it is very possible that hell should not be viewed a punitive in nature, but as the necessary option for those that do not wish to die to themselves, those who do not wish to choose relationship over self.