7.26.2010

Why I am (usually) overwhelmed by God's goodness

Now, I have to throw in the (usually) in the title because, unfortunately I am sometimes so focused on my own personal wants or whatever that I forget the overwhelming goodness of God. But often at or before or after church I can't help but remember.

In an ideal world, I would only be employed by our church, I would be able to devote all my time to dreaming and thinking and studying and working on all those things. But this world is not that world. I don't have all kinds of time to devote to those things, notice my conspicuous absence from the blog scene all too frequently.

But even though I am not usually confident heading into church, somehow God regularly uses the words that I speak. It would be nice if it was due to some latent talent or incredible wit on my part, but truly neither of those things could change anyone. If I was the most talented speaker in the world, and if I had days and weeks to dream up clever and insightful things to say, at the end of it all only God can help people in the ways that they need. At the end, only God can effectively speak into people's hearts and minds.

None of that is to say that I am completely left out of the process. Not at all. The goodness of God is that he lets me help. He lets me be a coworker, albeit a vastly inferior one. I firmly believe that God, at his heart, is trinity. Because of that, God values community above all because he was community before everything else. He has invited us to take part in that community and that includes community work. In the community work, we labor to speak truth, to call to repentance, to laugh, cry and love well.

Sometimes I wish we would grow numerically more quickly, that God would bless us with hundreds, thousands overnight. But then I remember that my standards are not his, and my idea of success is a Porsche or a book deal. But God's kingdom is invisible, and his standard of success is simply: Did you love well?

Did you? Did we?

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