Sacrifice

I am reading a book called "The Jesus Way" by Eugene Peterson. It is pretty great. He speaks at length about different parts of the bible and how they coincide with the way Jesus walked and calls us to follow. I just finished the part about Abraham. Just now I am ruminating on what he said, so this may be a little stream of consciousness writing.

He talks about how sacrifice is the stuff faith is made of. I hear that, and part of me thinks, yeah it surely is. Every time I sacrifice something I believe and trust in God a little more. But part of me cries out that that can't possibly be true, because I feel like I have sacrificed my fair share, and I go through long periods where I don't believe God can provide more Dr. Pepper...

So I am torn between the two. I think, honestly Peterson is right. I think the more we sacrifice on the altar of discipleship, the more we trust God. But I think the more we trust God, the more he asks us to trust him. Each step is a painful abnegation of what we want, combined with the strange fulfillment of a soul dancing in harmony with God. Neither becomes easier with time or practice, but it may become more fulfilling.

This does not, however, mean that I have sacrificed any more than most, or even some. It just means I have sacrificed a lot more than I wanted at first. It means that, every step I take into the ocean of faith, God takes a step back and asks me to trust him a bit more. I believe that eventually I will make it to the island of peace and security, but its a ways off. Hopefully the undertow won't drag me back to shore.