1.24.2011

Dang. And Ethics....

Oops. So... grade for weekly posting-- F. Sorry team

Grade for diet for this week, D+. Had a serious relapse yesterday, ate most of a thing of crazy bread and drank a DP. It was just so good. Gained a pound back. I'm still at minus 12 pounds for the month, hoping to rally this week and end up at minus 17-20 or so by a week from today, so I have my work cut out for me. Hopefully I can finish strong.

Language grade- 0. I have done nothing on it and am ashamed of that.

Reading grade- A-. I have read well, but have a couple books that I need to put to sleep this week. Next week is vacation so will only read fiction that week, should easily kill 2-5 that week.

Loving spouse grade- B?- I'm making a more concerted effort to ask questions and listen better, but still much improvement to do.

Ethics:
I have been thinking a lot about ethics this past couple weeks. I spend (too much) some time on reddit.com while at work, and probably 95% of the vocal posters there are aggressive atheists, meaning they can't let a post go by without criticising Christianity. And we probably deserve quite a bit of criticism.

However, one criticism I believe is off-target. Many will say that they do not need some "flying spaghetti monster" to tell them how to be a moral person. I think they couldn't be further from the truth. I want to submit that the only biblical measure of ethics is relationship.

Now, this idea is certainly not original with me, but I'm not sure who to credit with it, so I just want to at least claim that I am not taking credit for the idea.

Some of us like to pretend that there are two ideas floating around of "good" and "evil" and that they are completely objective. I think "good" and "evil" are 100% subjective. They are completely and totally products of relationship. No rule is arbitrary, but every part of good ethics is relationship.

The only correct relationship from human to human is one of altruistic love. The only correct way to view others is that they are more important than us. That is the only ethic we are called to.

The only correct way to have relationship from human to God is one of obedient love. The relationship of creator to creature places us where we might sometimes follow God's command even if it seems arbitrary for us. The reason being that God has revealed himself in and as love, thus if we are to be in correct relation to him, then we must trust that he has our best interests in mind. We will never completely understand, but that is not for the creature to decide.

The difficulty is determining what God told us to do and when he told us to do it. If someone claims that they were told by God to blow up a building, does that mean we trust them and hand them some C4? I think we have to judge each instance separately, but I think we can generally say that blowing things up is not in line with love. So if God is love, then God would not command us to do something unloving.

Blowing up a building is an easy target (pun intended), but what about something like telling someone the brutal, honest truth? When is that appropriate? I think at that point we have to judge ourselves and ask our creator for wisdom. We will end up in gray areas, but we must constantly be looking at motivation and examing ourselves constantly.

1.13.2011

Binding up...

I wish things didn't have to hurt. I wish that when we had crisis of faith we could waive a wand and things would instantly be fixed. I wish that the bible worked like that, that we could simply quote Psalm 91 and God would have to heal us, emotionally, mentally and physically.

As weak as we are as human creatures, we generally think of our frailty in physical terms. Why can't I survive in space, why can't I breath under water, why can't I fly?

But I think if we consider the words of Jesus and the authors of the bible, we have to confront the fact that we are weak emotionally and spiritually, not really so much physically.

Earlier this week I was really discouraged, I was frustrated with God, with our church and with my life. I asked God why things don't turn around quickly, or why everything is so slow. I didn't really get much of a response. And the beat goes on.

But as I have reflected some, I remembered the words of CS Lewis that basically say that God shouts at us in pain. Maybe God had tried to speak to me in other avenues, maybe God was trying to fix me in other ways, maybe he came to the conclusion that the only way to wake me up was with some pain. And like a good surgeon, he will not stop cutting until the bad parts are gone. And it sucks.

So when I think about the words "Blessed are the brokenhearted" I have to wonder what strange masochist calls that a blessing. But in my myopic glare, I often forget that Jesus could say that because he himself was brokenhearted.

So, I don't know that there is any inherent value in suffering, but I do know that it is a byproduct of something else.

There is a wonderful part in the Harry Potter books when Harry is raging at Dumbledore. He tells him he doesn't want to love anymore, because he doesn't want to hurt anymore. He wants to just turn his back and quit. But the reason Harry is remarkable is because he can still love even though he has been hurt so badly. And I think that is why God allows us to have our hearts broken. He needs to know if we are committed to this love thing as he is. He feels every bit of the pain we do, but he has not quit on us. My hope is that I can continue even with the pain. My hope is that the one who was broken for me can somehow heal me in the same way.

1.10.2011

Checking in/ snow jerks

So, first to check in/update on my progress for 2011.

First: My goal of losing some weight. I have lost 6 pounds after 1 week of diet and exercise. My goal of dropping 20 by the end of January is on track. I imagine that dropping the next 14 will be harder, but can work out more if I notice stagnation. Both are hard, but the eating well is much more difficult for me. Evidently, I am ruled by my belly.

Second: My language study. I get an F+ for this. The only reason for the plus is because I have actually made plans to do this. Otherwise I have sucked it up. Meaning, I have done nothing but plan.

Third: Reading. I am doing great on this. I have roughly a week left in two pretty difficult (for me) reads. I am going to knock those out, have finished "Radical" and am on pace to get my reading done right this year.

Fourth: Being a better husband. Not sure if I can track this very well, but I think I am being more supportive and better in general. (jury still out on this one)

Fifth: Blogging. Bam! Right here suckas.

Snow jerks: So, we have had our first decent snow of the season this past weekend. And as I was driving to work, I couldn't help but think that someone in a horse-drawn carriage would have beaten me in today. I noticed that people drive very differently in the snow, so I have some of my rules and some of theirs below.

Mine
1. Lanes are unimportant at this point. Just follow the tracks other cars made before.
2. Brake often. You'll never make it to work if you wreck.
3. The goal is not to keep from sliding, but to slide in an awesome, controlled way.
4. Everyone driving faster is a jerk, and everyone driving slower is a grandma.
5. Stick to highways, doi.

Everyone else's
1. If you are in an SUV you are invincible. Drive as fast as possible while changing lanes frequently.
2. If you are in a Subaru, follow #1 while also talking on your phone.
3. Accelerate on bridges. Black ice is a myth.
4. Glare angrily at the Mazda that is driving too slow, then brake abruptly when you look back in front of you.
5. Do not yield, ever, no matter what.

1.05.2011

Checklists

So I live my life checklist-to-checklist. I get into work in the morning and write one out, then my goal is to have it completed by the end of the day. On Saturdays I create a mental checklist of things I need to do that day, then repeat on Sundays. Those are usually pretty easy and just include things like 'read' or 'watch football' but they help me keep my goals in mind... I create a checklist before I go to the store, then just remember it by counting the items and slowly counting them off of my mental list.

So, like I said, I live my life one checklist at a time. This blog post is helping me fulfill one of my resolutions. The broccoli I choked down before starting this is helping me with another.

So my typical checklist looks something like this:
1. Clear email
2. Make callbacks
3. Check upcoming interns
4. Write intern letter
5. Update tracking, etc.
And on all the way up to 15 or so...

The only problem is that invariably I don't really follow my checklist. My actual practice checklist is:
1. Check email, only respond to those who need immediate response
2. Go to reddit.com
3. Shout something at Micah
4. Stroll around the building
5. Check reddit again
6. Check OU message board
7. Tell myself to quit slacking
8. And here we are...

No life lesson, just confession of my own sloth today.