Ownership

One big step on the way to being a functional person is ownership. Not home ownership, or car ownership. I'm talking about owning your choices.

I have to think that some of the sweetest words God ever hears are these: "Man, I really screwed that up." Why? Because only after we say something along those lines can we really begin the path back to good. How can we possibly try to get better if we never admit that we messed up to begin with?

This thought comes from a difficult discussion we had to have at church this weekend. I'm not going to try to give too many details, but essentially we were talking to a man who has struggled with addiction for twenty plus years. He bounces around from place to place, drinking or using drugs and using people. He had spent the past ten months clean and in a rehabilitation program. Then he left, a little more than a week passed, and he was moving in with his girlfriend and had been drunk a couple times.

So he came to church Saturday night, and we had to have a talk. Several of the men from our leadership team and I spoke with him for more than an hour, trying to get him to understand the ramifications of his choice. But he either could not or would not admit that he had made any bad decisions. He wanted to continue on a path to be in ministry, all while still making counter-productive choices to that end. He wanted to be able to have all the things this world offers, but also to have the riches of the kingdom of God. But none of us can have it both ways. Jesus makes it clear over and over and over again. We can either have him and nothing else, or we can have all that we want and not him. Now, most of the time I believe that he gives us much more than just himself, but all we can expect is him. And our friend would not own his choice. He had chosen a girl over his church family, but he wouldn't admit it. He continued to try to blame anyone but himself. And that is why I'm sad, discouraged and not so hopeful for his future. Until he can admit his shortcomings, until he can have the strength to say he messed up, he will not be able to get back on the path God wants for him.

I will say, though, that I couldn't be more proud of the rest of our church. They were loving, but they were firm. They spoke their peace and allowed him to go his own way. Our people loved someone that, statistically, does not show great promise. And they did it with some recklessness.