Here is the thing. I love sports. I love baseball, I love basketball, I kinda like the Olympics, but I LOVE football. And specifically, OU Sooner football. But this season has been a heart-breaker from the get-go. We had four of the best players at their positions in the country come back for one more chance. Only two of those guys have played all our games, and they are arguably the least necessary. So, here my team sits at 3-3. 500. Mediocre. But they aren't mediocre, they have lost all three games by a combined 5 points. 5!
So, here I sit, despondent because my team has a mediocre record, but they have the players and the ability to be in the top 3... the worst part is enduring the trash talk from ignorant fans of other teams. Usually they are jealous of the recent and overall success of my Sooners, but it doesn't change how annoying the trash talk is.
10.19.2009
10.05.2009
Favre
I'm sitting here watching as Brett Favre is having an excellent game against his former team, and it really is surreal. The man is old! He is one of the most exciting players I have ever watched, and he is by far my favorite NFL player of all time, though Peterson may pass him eventually. Anyway, I am watching this old man dice up his old team, and I see him still having fun. He has been playing in the league something like 80 years and he still smiles and celebrates like a child when his team scores.
As I watch that, I hope that when I am his age and have been doing what I do for as long, that I still love it as much as I do now. There are times I get upset, beat down, discouraged in my calling, but overall I could not feel more fulfilled in trying to help people discover the relationship that God wants to have with them. I hope that I still celebrate like a child after God does what only he can do. I hope that I can be a conduit through which joy flows to others.
I love the makeup of my church right now, and I hope that God continues to bless us. I expected us not to grow for the immediate future, but I hope that we do grow once we begin having public services. I am slightly nervous about finding someone capable fo doing music for us, it could turn into a concern. But I know that I need to continue to trust in the God that has brought us this far. It would be nice if he laid out a plan and gave me all the money I could ask for, but the Israelites were only given enough manna for the day, and I am too most of the time.
As I watch that, I hope that when I am his age and have been doing what I do for as long, that I still love it as much as I do now. There are times I get upset, beat down, discouraged in my calling, but overall I could not feel more fulfilled in trying to help people discover the relationship that God wants to have with them. I hope that I still celebrate like a child after God does what only he can do. I hope that I can be a conduit through which joy flows to others.
I love the makeup of my church right now, and I hope that God continues to bless us. I expected us not to grow for the immediate future, but I hope that we do grow once we begin having public services. I am slightly nervous about finding someone capable fo doing music for us, it could turn into a concern. But I know that I need to continue to trust in the God that has brought us this far. It would be nice if he laid out a plan and gave me all the money I could ask for, but the Israelites were only given enough manna for the day, and I am too most of the time.
9.30.2009
Getting into shape
I think my lovely wife and I are going to take a cruise/vacation in February for our four year anniversary. Because of that, I have more motivation to get into great shape. I have been jogging consistently, but it is difficult to push myself regularly. I think this upcoming vacation will provide some additional motivation for me. I think at some point everyone struggles a bit with motivation. I think there are several keys, but I don't necessarily always use them.
1. Focus on only one day at a time. It gets pretty daunting to think about how long you need to work out to get into really great shape. But if you are just focusing on the present day, it gets quite a bit easier.
2. Focus only on the next exercise at a time/set small goals. Just push through one block at a time (if you are jogging) and don't think about all the blocks it takes to get to the end.
3. Measure results. Whether it is in waist size or weight, it is important to keep track of progress. This will continue motivation when you may be running low on it.
4. Trick yourself into enjoying getting into shape. Consciously think to yourself that exercise is fun while you are doing it. This will kind of trick you into thinking that you actually are having fun.
5. Don't beat yourself up over one missed day. You can occasionally miss, but you don't want to miss a bunch in a row.
I realize these aren't profound and if I knew so much about getting and staying in shape, I wouldn't be on the uphill battle I'm on. But I have told myself I would keep writing, so here it is. I will force myself to do this every couple days, whatever the topic.
1. Focus on only one day at a time. It gets pretty daunting to think about how long you need to work out to get into really great shape. But if you are just focusing on the present day, it gets quite a bit easier.
2. Focus only on the next exercise at a time/set small goals. Just push through one block at a time (if you are jogging) and don't think about all the blocks it takes to get to the end.
3. Measure results. Whether it is in waist size or weight, it is important to keep track of progress. This will continue motivation when you may be running low on it.
4. Trick yourself into enjoying getting into shape. Consciously think to yourself that exercise is fun while you are doing it. This will kind of trick you into thinking that you actually are having fun.
5. Don't beat yourself up over one missed day. You can occasionally miss, but you don't want to miss a bunch in a row.
I realize these aren't profound and if I knew so much about getting and staying in shape, I wouldn't be on the uphill battle I'm on. But I have told myself I would keep writing, so here it is. I will force myself to do this every couple days, whatever the topic.
9.25.2009
Need to write...
There are a lot of things in life I need to do. I need to exercise so that my gut does not get bigger, I need to drink Dr. Pepper to counteract said exercise, I need to work to pay bills and I need to spend time with my wife, friends and dogs. One of my ambitions is to write something someday. There are several genres I would love to write: science fiction, theology, memoir, maybe all three combined... but either way, if I ever want to get off my lazy butt and write... scratch that. If I ever want to sit on my active butt and write a book, I need to write religiously and regularly. Stephen King says writers need to write. Write anything at anytime, whether you feel like it or not. So that is what I need to do. I need to write. I need to apply myself to this craft so that I will hopefully produce something worth publishing. So here I am.
Since I wrote last... we have a new dog (Ivan the husky), new roommates (Grant and Des), a new church (Refuge Community Church), and my favorite season has begun (fall and football. They are pretty much synonymous). My team dropped their first game unexpectedly, but they seem to be regrouping for a run... hopefully they show poise and perseverance. My job gets monotonous, but I think there may be a light at the end of the tunnel. My wife is wonderful and supportive, I hope she feels as appreciated as I do. Overall, I haven't much to say, but I need to write. Hopefully this can start a new trend and habit.
Since I wrote last... we have a new dog (Ivan the husky), new roommates (Grant and Des), a new church (Refuge Community Church), and my favorite season has begun (fall and football. They are pretty much synonymous). My team dropped their first game unexpectedly, but they seem to be regrouping for a run... hopefully they show poise and perseverance. My job gets monotonous, but I think there may be a light at the end of the tunnel. My wife is wonderful and supportive, I hope she feels as appreciated as I do. Overall, I haven't much to say, but I need to write. Hopefully this can start a new trend and habit.
8.01.2009
Masochist or Impassive?
That is the question that a person must answer if they believe God knows the future exhaustively and definitively. If that is the case, then before the world was ever created, God decided that humans would sin. He decided that some would continue to sin daily, and that some would live such reprehensible lives that even their best deeds would make church-goers blush. He decided that they would go to eternal torment never having tasted the goodness of the holy God.
So, if God is love, as the epistle from John says, then surely God would feel great pain at the suffering of his creation. But if that is the way God designed and planned it, then God must like pain. Or God simply does not experience pain and regret. If that is the case, then there are parts of the scripture that seem to be less than honest. Places that say that God is sorrowful of the choices people make, places that seem to indicate that God is sad over the destruction of the world through the flood.
So, it comes back to the question, Divine Masochist or simply Impassive? I choose neither. The concept of God being impassive is an import from Greek philosophy and is not mentioned in my bible. The idea that God is a masochist is pretty much stupid and incredibly foreign to the scriptures, so there has to be some third option.
I believe that inherent in a loving relationship is the risk of hurt. Anytime a person opens himself up to love another, he risks the fact that the other might break his heart. If God ordained everything, then he rendered the fact that he had heartbreak on the way certain. But if God left the future open, then he left heartbreak as only a possibility. I just can't believe that God enjoys suffering. I love only a shadow compared to his love, and suffering is incredibly... painful. And the God I find in the bible relates, loves and expresses hurt and joy. I believe he left open the possiblity he could be hurt because that was the only way to have a true loving relationship. This seems to me the closest to the biblical model of the God presented there.
So, if God is love, as the epistle from John says, then surely God would feel great pain at the suffering of his creation. But if that is the way God designed and planned it, then God must like pain. Or God simply does not experience pain and regret. If that is the case, then there are parts of the scripture that seem to be less than honest. Places that say that God is sorrowful of the choices people make, places that seem to indicate that God is sad over the destruction of the world through the flood.
So, it comes back to the question, Divine Masochist or simply Impassive? I choose neither. The concept of God being impassive is an import from Greek philosophy and is not mentioned in my bible. The idea that God is a masochist is pretty much stupid and incredibly foreign to the scriptures, so there has to be some third option.
I believe that inherent in a loving relationship is the risk of hurt. Anytime a person opens himself up to love another, he risks the fact that the other might break his heart. If God ordained everything, then he rendered the fact that he had heartbreak on the way certain. But if God left the future open, then he left heartbreak as only a possibility. I just can't believe that God enjoys suffering. I love only a shadow compared to his love, and suffering is incredibly... painful. And the God I find in the bible relates, loves and expresses hurt and joy. I believe he left open the possiblity he could be hurt because that was the only way to have a true loving relationship. This seems to me the closest to the biblical model of the God presented there.
5.28.2009
More postmodern drivel...
Holiness is, in my opinion anyway, one of the most misunderstood terms in scripture. Technically speaking, I believe it simply means "set apart." But it has meant so much more through time.
Sometimes it is a term reserved for God alone. In actuality, God is the only one that deserves to be called holy. Sometimes it is something that we are called to be and to do. Sometimes it is simply the refrain of a song sung into eternity in youth groups across the country.
Whatever we think of it as, I believe that with Jesus and his message the meaning of holiness we were meant to understand changed. Before a person could be considered "holy" if they prescribed to a set of rules, beginning with circumcision (sorry ladies you are already out...) and following all the steps that it takes to be a good Jew. Essentially, every step along the way eliminated part of the population, so that in the end, only the very few were left. I believe there was a purpose for this back in the day, it showed everyone the truly impossible standards God had. Or rather, the impossible standards God himself lived and lives by.
But I don't think that was ever intended to be the long term fix. It was much like the way you treat roommates. If you are smart, when you get a new roommate, you set a list of elaborate rules. So and so mows the yard on such and such weeks, so and so does this, do the dishes after you use them, only eat food you purchase or explicitly ask for, etc. Then, after having lived with a roommate for a long enough time, the rules can become unspoken. This is a way to avoid conflict and to be good neighbors and friends. God set up "roommate rules" for those of us sharing the earth. We were and are not so good at following them.
In Christ, God changed the rules. No longer was holiness about following a list of rules, it was about clinging to a specific person. No longer was it about following the speed limit, it was about not scaring your passenger, if you will. Instead of "do not commit adultery" in Christ it becomes "love Christ in such a way that you love all women in such a way that you want to honor them." Instead of "do not kill" it became "do not disrespect the image of God such that you prematurely end its life."
This will, obviously, get me slammed as a postmodern, pluralist, liberal etc etc. But none of that makes it wrong. God in Christ does not lessen the difficulty of holiness, he makes it relational. I think, the entire holiness code was the effort of God to communicate to humanity his expectation for relational holiness. It didn't take. Not because God failed, but because we failed. So God explained it in a different way. God showed in Christ what true holiness is and was. Don't work on Sabbath? Work on Sabbath if it saves life. Don't touch unclean things? God is the one who determines what is clean.
So, instead of continually whittling down who can be holy, it opens it up completely to everyone. All it takes is a relationship with the truly holy. Instead of being "set apart" it is now "set apart to Christ." Instead of being about rules, holiness now becomes about a relationship.
Just some thoughts. I could be incredibly wrong though.
Sometimes it is a term reserved for God alone. In actuality, God is the only one that deserves to be called holy. Sometimes it is something that we are called to be and to do. Sometimes it is simply the refrain of a song sung into eternity in youth groups across the country.
Whatever we think of it as, I believe that with Jesus and his message the meaning of holiness we were meant to understand changed. Before a person could be considered "holy" if they prescribed to a set of rules, beginning with circumcision (sorry ladies you are already out...) and following all the steps that it takes to be a good Jew. Essentially, every step along the way eliminated part of the population, so that in the end, only the very few were left. I believe there was a purpose for this back in the day, it showed everyone the truly impossible standards God had. Or rather, the impossible standards God himself lived and lives by.
But I don't think that was ever intended to be the long term fix. It was much like the way you treat roommates. If you are smart, when you get a new roommate, you set a list of elaborate rules. So and so mows the yard on such and such weeks, so and so does this, do the dishes after you use them, only eat food you purchase or explicitly ask for, etc. Then, after having lived with a roommate for a long enough time, the rules can become unspoken. This is a way to avoid conflict and to be good neighbors and friends. God set up "roommate rules" for those of us sharing the earth. We were and are not so good at following them.
In Christ, God changed the rules. No longer was holiness about following a list of rules, it was about clinging to a specific person. No longer was it about following the speed limit, it was about not scaring your passenger, if you will. Instead of "do not commit adultery" in Christ it becomes "love Christ in such a way that you love all women in such a way that you want to honor them." Instead of "do not kill" it became "do not disrespect the image of God such that you prematurely end its life."
This will, obviously, get me slammed as a postmodern, pluralist, liberal etc etc. But none of that makes it wrong. God in Christ does not lessen the difficulty of holiness, he makes it relational. I think, the entire holiness code was the effort of God to communicate to humanity his expectation for relational holiness. It didn't take. Not because God failed, but because we failed. So God explained it in a different way. God showed in Christ what true holiness is and was. Don't work on Sabbath? Work on Sabbath if it saves life. Don't touch unclean things? God is the one who determines what is clean.
So, instead of continually whittling down who can be holy, it opens it up completely to everyone. All it takes is a relationship with the truly holy. Instead of being "set apart" it is now "set apart to Christ." Instead of being about rules, holiness now becomes about a relationship.
Just some thoughts. I could be incredibly wrong though.
5.14.2009
Irritations
I was tagged by my sweet wife, but instead of repeating what she did, I will continue in my obstinate ways and not do the "8 things." I will instead take her tag as a cue to blog again today.
So without further adieu, I will list things that irritate me, for good reason or not.
1. Blue tooth headsets
2. In the song "Nothing Better" by the Postal Service, he says he will guard the door like the goalie "tending the net in the third quarter, of a tied game rivalry." But in hockey they are called "periods" because there are only three and quarters, by definition, have four. Further, in sports with quarters, goalies don't tend nets, as far as I know. So, like many musicians, I will guess he doesn't know sports or couldn't figure how to fit anything else there. Don't know why, but it really bugs me. Otherwise fantastic song.
3. The decal of Calvin peeing on stuff.
4. Bill O'Reilly
5. The long winded speeches in classic literature.
6. The way speakers buzz or whatever when a phone goes off nearby.
7. Watered down soda.
8. People who go around "hall-monitoring" people all the time.
9. Quizzes on facebook.
10. The way when I put my ipod on shuffle, it always plays some crap I never want to listen to.
11. House hunting.
11b. Moving
12. Unnecessary adjectives.
13. Always waking up thirsty.
14. A stinky fridge.
15. When my eyelashes stick together.
16. Talking on the phone. Especially when my phone sucks and craps out every ten minutes.
17. Comcast.
18. RC Sproul and John Piper.
19. Odd numbers.
20. Asymmetry.
So without further adieu, I will list things that irritate me, for good reason or not.
1. Blue tooth headsets
2. In the song "Nothing Better" by the Postal Service, he says he will guard the door like the goalie "tending the net in the third quarter, of a tied game rivalry." But in hockey they are called "periods" because there are only three and quarters, by definition, have four. Further, in sports with quarters, goalies don't tend nets, as far as I know. So, like many musicians, I will guess he doesn't know sports or couldn't figure how to fit anything else there. Don't know why, but it really bugs me. Otherwise fantastic song.
3. The decal of Calvin peeing on stuff.
4. Bill O'Reilly
5. The long winded speeches in classic literature.
6. The way speakers buzz or whatever when a phone goes off nearby.
7. Watered down soda.
8. People who go around "hall-monitoring" people all the time.
9. Quizzes on facebook.
10. The way when I put my ipod on shuffle, it always plays some crap I never want to listen to.
11. House hunting.
11b. Moving
12. Unnecessary adjectives.
13. Always waking up thirsty.
14. A stinky fridge.
15. When my eyelashes stick together.
16. Talking on the phone. Especially when my phone sucks and craps out every ten minutes.
17. Comcast.
18. RC Sproul and John Piper.
19. Odd numbers.
20. Asymmetry.
5.13.2009
My life is better....
with her than without.
Before her I didn't know what I would do every night, now I still don't know, but I do know it will be fun.
Before I was a hard headed jerk, now I am still that, but at least have someone that tells me (other than Grant).
Before I was dogless, but now I have Rufus.
Before I wondered if I would die lonely, now I know that even if I am alone when I die, I love and am loved.
Before I struggled with how someone would accept me, now I still struggle with how, but I know definitively that I am accepted.
Before my home always stunk, now it smells pretty good most of the time.
Before I ate Ramen at least three times a week, now it is once a week at most.
Before my family was full of crazy people, now it is full of crazy people and one that is not so crazy.
Before I thought only idiots liked romantic comedies, now I know at least one intelligent person who does also.
Before I wondered if I could find the perfect girl, I found out she doesn't exist, but what I got is so much better. She is wonderful in her imperfections, in the way she is picky about rent houses and my jeans. I am always thankful that she took me back. Perfect people would not be able to grow together and would not need one another.
Before her I didn't know what I would do every night, now I still don't know, but I do know it will be fun.
Before I was a hard headed jerk, now I am still that, but at least have someone that tells me (other than Grant).
Before I was dogless, but now I have Rufus.
Before I wondered if I would die lonely, now I know that even if I am alone when I die, I love and am loved.
Before I struggled with how someone would accept me, now I still struggle with how, but I know definitively that I am accepted.
Before my home always stunk, now it smells pretty good most of the time.
Before I ate Ramen at least three times a week, now it is once a week at most.
Before my family was full of crazy people, now it is full of crazy people and one that is not so crazy.
Before I thought only idiots liked romantic comedies, now I know at least one intelligent person who does also.
Before I wondered if I could find the perfect girl, I found out she doesn't exist, but what I got is so much better. She is wonderful in her imperfections, in the way she is picky about rent houses and my jeans. I am always thankful that she took me back. Perfect people would not be able to grow together and would not need one another.
5.04.2009
Above our paygrade
I am addicted to a website called "OUinsider" and for those that know me even a little bit, this would not come as a surprise. Today I was clowning around on the message board and a guy had a post that went something like this: "I have been given a little more than a year to live by doctors. They say that I have pancreatic cancer and the first thing that popped into my mind was that I needed to enjoy every moment with my kids and family. The second was that I would not be happy if I did not live to see OU get #8 (national championship)."
Some posters chimed in that they were sorry, would be praying for him, etc. Then one poster said he knew this guy and that he was not nor did he want to be religious. He said this man would appreciate our sympathies, but more than anything just wanted to talk OU football. A couple posts later, someone said that they appreciated where he was coming from, but wanted to implore him not to turn his back on God. He said God would be there and that he should turn his life over to him.
As I read that, the first thought I had was "well thats ok, he is just trying to help the guy." But my second thought was "when did we start to think it was always our job to change people's minds?" To be honest, I think it is insulting both to the person's free choice and to God's ability to woo. Its not through persuasive language or clever acronyms that bring people to faith in Jesus Christ, it is through his tender love and grace. I just think if we would do our job better, that is, being the church, feeding the hungry, loving the unlovely, God would be more free to do his job.
The way I think about is this: When I am cooking in the kitchen, Rufus always wants to come along. He may think he is being helpful, or he may just think I will drop something, but either way it would be a lot easier on me if he wasn't under my feet. I think maybe God thinks the same way. He appreciates that we want to help woo people, but he is also saying, "Look your job is just to be the church. Sure speak the truth, but don't go around volunteering it all the time. Live the way I have commanded you and let me take care of the things you can't control." I think people would listen to us more if we weren't always volunteering to tell them how to make their lives better.
Some posters chimed in that they were sorry, would be praying for him, etc. Then one poster said he knew this guy and that he was not nor did he want to be religious. He said this man would appreciate our sympathies, but more than anything just wanted to talk OU football. A couple posts later, someone said that they appreciated where he was coming from, but wanted to implore him not to turn his back on God. He said God would be there and that he should turn his life over to him.
As I read that, the first thought I had was "well thats ok, he is just trying to help the guy." But my second thought was "when did we start to think it was always our job to change people's minds?" To be honest, I think it is insulting both to the person's free choice and to God's ability to woo. Its not through persuasive language or clever acronyms that bring people to faith in Jesus Christ, it is through his tender love and grace. I just think if we would do our job better, that is, being the church, feeding the hungry, loving the unlovely, God would be more free to do his job.
The way I think about is this: When I am cooking in the kitchen, Rufus always wants to come along. He may think he is being helpful, or he may just think I will drop something, but either way it would be a lot easier on me if he wasn't under my feet. I think maybe God thinks the same way. He appreciates that we want to help woo people, but he is also saying, "Look your job is just to be the church. Sure speak the truth, but don't go around volunteering it all the time. Live the way I have commanded you and let me take care of the things you can't control." I think people would listen to us more if we weren't always volunteering to tell them how to make their lives better.
5.02.2009
Sacrifice
I am reading a book called "The Jesus Way" by Eugene Peterson. It is pretty great. He speaks at length about different parts of the bible and how they coincide with the way Jesus walked and calls us to follow. I just finished the part about Abraham. Just now I am ruminating on what he said, so this may be a little stream of consciousness writing.
He talks about how sacrifice is the stuff faith is made of. I hear that, and part of me thinks, yeah it surely is. Every time I sacrifice something I believe and trust in God a little more. But part of me cries out that that can't possibly be true, because I feel like I have sacrificed my fair share, and I go through long periods where I don't believe God can provide more Dr. Pepper...
So I am torn between the two. I think, honestly Peterson is right. I think the more we sacrifice on the altar of discipleship, the more we trust God. But I think the more we trust God, the more he asks us to trust him. Each step is a painful abnegation of what we want, combined with the strange fulfillment of a soul dancing in harmony with God. Neither becomes easier with time or practice, but it may become more fulfilling.
This does not, however, mean that I have sacrificed any more than most, or even some. It just means I have sacrificed a lot more than I wanted at first. It means that, every step I take into the ocean of faith, God takes a step back and asks me to trust him a bit more. I believe that eventually I will make it to the island of peace and security, but its a ways off. Hopefully the undertow won't drag me back to shore.
He talks about how sacrifice is the stuff faith is made of. I hear that, and part of me thinks, yeah it surely is. Every time I sacrifice something I believe and trust in God a little more. But part of me cries out that that can't possibly be true, because I feel like I have sacrificed my fair share, and I go through long periods where I don't believe God can provide more Dr. Pepper...
So I am torn between the two. I think, honestly Peterson is right. I think the more we sacrifice on the altar of discipleship, the more we trust God. But I think the more we trust God, the more he asks us to trust him. Each step is a painful abnegation of what we want, combined with the strange fulfillment of a soul dancing in harmony with God. Neither becomes easier with time or practice, but it may become more fulfilling.
This does not, however, mean that I have sacrificed any more than most, or even some. It just means I have sacrificed a lot more than I wanted at first. It means that, every step I take into the ocean of faith, God takes a step back and asks me to trust him a bit more. I believe that eventually I will make it to the island of peace and security, but its a ways off. Hopefully the undertow won't drag me back to shore.
4.08.2009
Anticipating Easter
The older I get, the more I appreciate Easter. When I was a kid, I remember I didn't like Easter much because I felt like, after Thanksgiving, you had all the crap of holidays without the good parts. For Easter you have to go to church, you have to get dressed up. Yeah, you got a basket with some candy and maybe a book or a kite, but you had to go and deal with all the extended family right after church. By the time you finally made it home from all the nonsense of Easter egg hunting, you had to just turn around and get ready for church again. Sure, it improved a bit when my great-uncle who hid tons of money in prize eggs showed up, and I usually found the most, but then I had to deal with the (temporary) guilt of swiping prize eggs from my sister or cousins.
But now, now I love Easter. Easter represents all that is hopeful in the Christian faith. I work with men every day who by all accounts threw their lives away. But now they have a new chance for a new life. Instead of living on the streets hooked on coke, they live in a converted hotel and are learning just how precious they are in God's eyes.
Easter represents a culmination of all that God has done and is doing in history. God showed through the bogus trial and unjust execution of his son just what he thinks of us. And it is good.
Easter remembers the day that Jesus rose from the grave and with his resurrection threw aside all the old shackles that had chained his beloved. Easter is the day that it is all about.
I am anticipating next Easter even more than usual, because next Easter we will finally have our little church going. The entire reason for moving here will be realized, but also just started. Robin and I miss being part of a church, but we know its temporary. I know for me, working nights and missing her and my funny dog, this present suffering is just part of the path to doing what God has called us to do. It is hard, but I know that in the end it will be worth it.
But now, now I love Easter. Easter represents all that is hopeful in the Christian faith. I work with men every day who by all accounts threw their lives away. But now they have a new chance for a new life. Instead of living on the streets hooked on coke, they live in a converted hotel and are learning just how precious they are in God's eyes.
Easter represents a culmination of all that God has done and is doing in history. God showed through the bogus trial and unjust execution of his son just what he thinks of us. And it is good.
Easter remembers the day that Jesus rose from the grave and with his resurrection threw aside all the old shackles that had chained his beloved. Easter is the day that it is all about.
I am anticipating next Easter even more than usual, because next Easter we will finally have our little church going. The entire reason for moving here will be realized, but also just started. Robin and I miss being part of a church, but we know its temporary. I know for me, working nights and missing her and my funny dog, this present suffering is just part of the path to doing what God has called us to do. It is hard, but I know that in the end it will be worth it.
3.29.2009
Becoming a vampire.
I have started myself on the journey to become a vampire. My employer offered me a promotion (sort of) to a night house manager. To be completely honest, the change didn't really appeal to me, but during the meeting when I was offered the promotion I was told that the VP of operations "had his eye on me" whatever that means. Now, hopefully it means that I'll be moving up to a chaplain type of position soon, a position for which I would be more suited and for which my (7 years) education would probably be more beneficial than my current job.
Its not that I am ungrateful for a promotion and pay-raise, that is great. But I hate working nights and having my schedule so different from my beautiful wife and our little puppy. So, I am hoping within a few months to move up again. The hard thing that I need to remember is that doing things like we are committed to doing are never easy.
Ministry in general is one of the most difficult professions, in my opinion. The reasons are varied, but I think they include things like:
1. Everyone with a pulse who has gone to church for more than a few years is a theologian, the problem is the quality of theology that they profess. Some have read all the "Left Behind" books so they think they know about the book of Revelation. Some have read John Piper so they think they know the pros and cons of God's sovereignty.It would be like me saying that since I listened to the classical radio station the other day, I know why Bach wasn't as good as Beethoven. I don't have a problem if someone wants to read those books, but the problem is that some people don't read both sides and think of themselves as experts.
2. How do you correct that crap?! I mean, its pretty hard to let people know that these prized thoughts about God that they have had since they were teenagers could be wrong. They could be right, but the problem is that you must look at both sides of an argument to be close to the right answer. Lots of people haven't done that, and then when the pastor or minister presents an alternative viewpoint, they shut down.
3. People are more committed to ideas than they are to relationships, in some ways. They don't really want to consider the fact that they could be wrong, they just want a large group that will tell them they are right and that the liberals are ruining the country, or the conservatives depending on the place. So, if a church presents an alternative that they don't like, they go to another church.
4. Everyone wants to tell you how to minister, no one wants to actually do it. Well, why do we pay the pastor if we have to do it?! Because you are the church.
5. To actually be the church we are called to be, everyone in the church has to be willing to make radical changes to himself or herself. And everyone must be willing to evaluate how he or she acts and treats those around him. Not an easy thing to do, but if we all did it our churches would be much better places.
I have a lot more, but I don't feel like beating the church down anymore than I already have. I am excited because I feel like we have a significant chance of changing these things at our church in Denver. We have people relocating 10-15 hours from home in order to follow God's leading. I don't think any of them would do that if they weren't open to changing themselves in significant ways. I know it has changed me to move and hope that God will provide.
Its not that I am ungrateful for a promotion and pay-raise, that is great. But I hate working nights and having my schedule so different from my beautiful wife and our little puppy. So, I am hoping within a few months to move up again. The hard thing that I need to remember is that doing things like we are committed to doing are never easy.
Ministry in general is one of the most difficult professions, in my opinion. The reasons are varied, but I think they include things like:
1. Everyone with a pulse who has gone to church for more than a few years is a theologian, the problem is the quality of theology that they profess. Some have read all the "Left Behind" books so they think they know about the book of Revelation. Some have read John Piper so they think they know the pros and cons of God's sovereignty.It would be like me saying that since I listened to the classical radio station the other day, I know why Bach wasn't as good as Beethoven. I don't have a problem if someone wants to read those books, but the problem is that some people don't read both sides and think of themselves as experts.
2. How do you correct that crap?! I mean, its pretty hard to let people know that these prized thoughts about God that they have had since they were teenagers could be wrong. They could be right, but the problem is that you must look at both sides of an argument to be close to the right answer. Lots of people haven't done that, and then when the pastor or minister presents an alternative viewpoint, they shut down.
3. People are more committed to ideas than they are to relationships, in some ways. They don't really want to consider the fact that they could be wrong, they just want a large group that will tell them they are right and that the liberals are ruining the country, or the conservatives depending on the place. So, if a church presents an alternative that they don't like, they go to another church.
4. Everyone wants to tell you how to minister, no one wants to actually do it. Well, why do we pay the pastor if we have to do it?! Because you are the church.
5. To actually be the church we are called to be, everyone in the church has to be willing to make radical changes to himself or herself. And everyone must be willing to evaluate how he or she acts and treats those around him. Not an easy thing to do, but if we all did it our churches would be much better places.
I have a lot more, but I don't feel like beating the church down anymore than I already have. I am excited because I feel like we have a significant chance of changing these things at our church in Denver. We have people relocating 10-15 hours from home in order to follow God's leading. I don't think any of them would do that if they weren't open to changing themselves in significant ways. I know it has changed me to move and hope that God will provide.
3.23.2009
Rufus. The dog.
I have spent the last month and a half training this crazy dog we got. They told us he is Irish Setter and Husky mix, but really he doesn't look like either. We think he may be German Shepherd, Husky and Lab mixed. One third of each... jk.
So we have a few tricks he is getting pretty good at. He knows how to go to his crate when we say "crate time." He knows he better make his way to me if I tell him to "come," he knows to park it when I say "sit" and go the rest of the way when I tell him to "lay down." The jury is out on whether he knows what I mean when I say "stay." But the fact is he does stay for a little bit, so maybe he does. I want to teach him to bring me an old tshirt of mine when I say "Chemistry power" because that is what the shirt says. I want to work on playing dead, roll over and fetch.
He was pretty easy to house train, but getting him to like that crate was such a pain. He howled and barely let us sleep those first couple nights. It was a battle of wills. We almost lost, but thankfully we prevailed over a sick, almost 4 month old puppy. No insight in this post, just a little web-journal this time around. Maybe I'll feel like posting controversy soon...
So we have a few tricks he is getting pretty good at. He knows how to go to his crate when we say "crate time." He knows he better make his way to me if I tell him to "come," he knows to park it when I say "sit" and go the rest of the way when I tell him to "lay down." The jury is out on whether he knows what I mean when I say "stay." But the fact is he does stay for a little bit, so maybe he does. I want to teach him to bring me an old tshirt of mine when I say "Chemistry power" because that is what the shirt says. I want to work on playing dead, roll over and fetch.
He was pretty easy to house train, but getting him to like that crate was such a pain. He howled and barely let us sleep those first couple nights. It was a battle of wills. We almost lost, but thankfully we prevailed over a sick, almost 4 month old puppy. No insight in this post, just a little web-journal this time around. Maybe I'll feel like posting controversy soon...
3.10.2009
Things I will never do...
To be honest, I haven't felt like blogging in awhile. I haven't felt particularly inspired, mostly because we have just gotten a dog and he keeps me busy. However, when I was driving around with a very annoying coworker today, I thought about making a list of things I never plan on doing, unless forced with a threat on my life. So here we go:
1. Listen to KLOVE alone or on purpose.
2. Wear a pink polo or tshirt.
3. Become a Calvinist.
4. Say "Git 'er done" unless I am mocking someone.
5. Put a "No Fear" or "Fear this" decal on my automobile.
6. Buy a Dodge.
7. Watch "the Gilmore Girls."
8. Do the way of the master.
9. Call myself "a Jesus Freak."
10. Eat mushrooms.
11. Shop at Abercrombie.
12. Say the pledge of allegiance or put my hand over my heart while the National Anthem is playing.
Probably will add more later.
1. Listen to KLOVE alone or on purpose.
2. Wear a pink polo or tshirt.
3. Become a Calvinist.
4. Say "Git 'er done" unless I am mocking someone.
5. Put a "No Fear" or "Fear this" decal on my automobile.
6. Buy a Dodge.
7. Watch "the Gilmore Girls."
8. Do the way of the master.
9. Call myself "a Jesus Freak."
10. Eat mushrooms.
11. Shop at Abercrombie.
12. Say the pledge of allegiance or put my hand over my heart while the National Anthem is playing.
Probably will add more later.
1.25.2009
Who will be saved?
Since I'm just kind of jumping around anyway, I thought this might be an interesting topic. There are two basic camps for this basic question of "who will be saved?" Although, truth be told there are probably as many different nuances as there are people. The two basic camps are the following 1. God determines who will be saved before the creation of the world and 2. People are allowed to choose whether they will accept God's salvation or not.
Now, those may be the two basic groups, but there are a lot of other groups as well. Some would say that the only way a person can be saved is if they call explicitly on the name of Jesus Christ and admit that he is the only way to salvation. Some would disagree and say that if someone has never heard of Jesus Christ, but honestly and sincerely seeks the "creator God" and trusts him for her salvation, then she will be saved. Then some would say that God's grace will be given to all in the same way that Adam's sin was attributed to all.
Pretty much everyone who falls into the first group, will also advocate the exclusiveness view, and the universal view. If God has ordained who will be saved, then he has also ordained who will hear the gospel. Or he would have ordained that it didn't matter who hears the gospel, he will unilaterally save them anyway. There are scriptures that seem to support all of this.
However, I believe that the overall witness of the scripture supports view #2 and the view that God can forgive someone for not having the opportunity to hear of his providence. I think the ultimate revelation of who God is is in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus makes it pretty clear that the main issue for following him is commitment, not knowledge. Otherwise Peter would have been disqualified quite a bit, as well as every other disciple. This does not mean that disciples should give up on orthodoxy, but as they will not truly achieve it, it is not requisite to be saved.
In addition, the scriptures that indicate that God desires all to be saved stand in direct opposition to the belief that God has chosen who will be saved and who won't. In addition, the life of Jesus himself flies directly in the face of all that. Jesus was not selective about who could know him and who couldn't.
Obviously there is tons of disagreement on this. There are volumes upon volumes on each side of the aisle. I think the main thing is that I cannot honestly conceive of Jesus choosing some to be sent to heaven and some to be sent to hell. Some can, but to steal a line from Dr. Olson, "I have a hard time distinguishing between God and the devil if God chooses some for eternal punishment."
Now, those may be the two basic groups, but there are a lot of other groups as well. Some would say that the only way a person can be saved is if they call explicitly on the name of Jesus Christ and admit that he is the only way to salvation. Some would disagree and say that if someone has never heard of Jesus Christ, but honestly and sincerely seeks the "creator God" and trusts him for her salvation, then she will be saved. Then some would say that God's grace will be given to all in the same way that Adam's sin was attributed to all.
Pretty much everyone who falls into the first group, will also advocate the exclusiveness view, and the universal view. If God has ordained who will be saved, then he has also ordained who will hear the gospel. Or he would have ordained that it didn't matter who hears the gospel, he will unilaterally save them anyway. There are scriptures that seem to support all of this.
However, I believe that the overall witness of the scripture supports view #2 and the view that God can forgive someone for not having the opportunity to hear of his providence. I think the ultimate revelation of who God is is in the person of Jesus Christ. Jesus makes it pretty clear that the main issue for following him is commitment, not knowledge. Otherwise Peter would have been disqualified quite a bit, as well as every other disciple. This does not mean that disciples should give up on orthodoxy, but as they will not truly achieve it, it is not requisite to be saved.
In addition, the scriptures that indicate that God desires all to be saved stand in direct opposition to the belief that God has chosen who will be saved and who won't. In addition, the life of Jesus himself flies directly in the face of all that. Jesus was not selective about who could know him and who couldn't.
Obviously there is tons of disagreement on this. There are volumes upon volumes on each side of the aisle. I think the main thing is that I cannot honestly conceive of Jesus choosing some to be sent to heaven and some to be sent to hell. Some can, but to steal a line from Dr. Olson, "I have a hard time distinguishing between God and the devil if God chooses some for eternal punishment."
1.18.2009
Omniscience and Omnipotence
I wanted to do a few on what I think about scripture, the bible, etc, but if I wanted to be stuck doing that for long blocks of time I would try to write a book (which I would like to do, but I would also like to win the lottery, so you know...). Anyway, I dunno if it was a request to discuss these two loaded words or just a thought about something that we might overlook a lot, but I think those two words are very worth discussing.
Oftentimes in our churches in the twentieth and now twenty-first century we often ascribe to God the qualities of being both omniscient and omnipotent. The problem with that, is that neither word is found in our scriptures. Sure, the basics of the ideas may be there, but not as clearly as many would like us to believe. So again, this is mostly a place for me to think my thoughts through and a place to get some feedback from friends and internet theologians. Feel free to contribute. Or not.
Omniscience: The general idea here is that God knows everything. The typical belief within Christianity, at least in American Christianity as I can't speak for the rest of the world, is that God knows everything including what will happen, what could happen, and what would happen. I think that if we are going to call God "omniscient" we need to nuance that word a little bit. The problem is that we are ascribing to God something that he does not really make clear in the scriptures he has given us.
Let me explain. First of all, I don't think God knows things that are not true. Second I don't think that God knows exactly what a free-agent will do in a general circumstance. Let me put it this way, God does not know the DNA of a unicorn. He cannot know it. There is no such thing, so there is no reason for God to know it. God only knows fact. God does not lie and there is no lie in him. God can know the lie that someone tells, and if someone wrote a book describing the DNA of a unicorn, God could know that too, but that does not mean that God would know the actual DNA of a unicorn, just the speculative one. I dunno if that makes any sense, but it did in my head.
Second, in the same way, I don't think it is possible to know what free creatures will do before they have chosen it. If we are truly free to do either A or B, then I think it would be impossible for God to know. He may know which is more likely, but I don't think he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt. There are some exceptions. I think God does sometimes take away our free will and force us to decide certain things. I think he never does this in the case of salvation, meaning, I think God always allows us to chose our eternal destiny. But I do think if God wants me to go to Arby's tomorrow, God will make me go to Arby's tomorrow. There are tons of places in scripture that seem to indicate that God does not know how a people will choose, when God changes his mind, or God hoped something would happen but it did not. There are other places that seem to disagree. A person must give priority to one or the other, then interpret the one he or she didn't choose in light of the one with priority.
So I think God knows everything that is possible to know, but God does not know those things that are impossible. (Cue the Calvinist argument that I am putting God in a box)
Omnipotence: We also often have a difficult time understanding this word. In principle, I agree that God is omnipotent. God is all-powerful. I think God can do anything he wants to do (so long as it is possible). But that is all too often taken to mean that God is the ultimate micro-manager. God has decreed when I will die, when I will eat next, even when this blog will end. That is not, however, the God that you find in the bible. God allows people to have choice, to do meaningful things, to matter.
So, since this blog is too long as it is, I will stop for today by saying that God could micro-manage in that way, the scripture seems pretty clear that God does not. God is both omnipotent and omniscient, just not in the way all too many people ascribe to him.
Oftentimes in our churches in the twentieth and now twenty-first century we often ascribe to God the qualities of being both omniscient and omnipotent. The problem with that, is that neither word is found in our scriptures. Sure, the basics of the ideas may be there, but not as clearly as many would like us to believe. So again, this is mostly a place for me to think my thoughts through and a place to get some feedback from friends and internet theologians. Feel free to contribute. Or not.
Omniscience: The general idea here is that God knows everything. The typical belief within Christianity, at least in American Christianity as I can't speak for the rest of the world, is that God knows everything including what will happen, what could happen, and what would happen. I think that if we are going to call God "omniscient" we need to nuance that word a little bit. The problem is that we are ascribing to God something that he does not really make clear in the scriptures he has given us.
Let me explain. First of all, I don't think God knows things that are not true. Second I don't think that God knows exactly what a free-agent will do in a general circumstance. Let me put it this way, God does not know the DNA of a unicorn. He cannot know it. There is no such thing, so there is no reason for God to know it. God only knows fact. God does not lie and there is no lie in him. God can know the lie that someone tells, and if someone wrote a book describing the DNA of a unicorn, God could know that too, but that does not mean that God would know the actual DNA of a unicorn, just the speculative one. I dunno if that makes any sense, but it did in my head.
Second, in the same way, I don't think it is possible to know what free creatures will do before they have chosen it. If we are truly free to do either A or B, then I think it would be impossible for God to know. He may know which is more likely, but I don't think he knows beyond a shadow of a doubt. There are some exceptions. I think God does sometimes take away our free will and force us to decide certain things. I think he never does this in the case of salvation, meaning, I think God always allows us to chose our eternal destiny. But I do think if God wants me to go to Arby's tomorrow, God will make me go to Arby's tomorrow. There are tons of places in scripture that seem to indicate that God does not know how a people will choose, when God changes his mind, or God hoped something would happen but it did not. There are other places that seem to disagree. A person must give priority to one or the other, then interpret the one he or she didn't choose in light of the one with priority.
So I think God knows everything that is possible to know, but God does not know those things that are impossible. (Cue the Calvinist argument that I am putting God in a box)
Omnipotence: We also often have a difficult time understanding this word. In principle, I agree that God is omnipotent. God is all-powerful. I think God can do anything he wants to do (so long as it is possible). But that is all too often taken to mean that God is the ultimate micro-manager. God has decreed when I will die, when I will eat next, even when this blog will end. That is not, however, the God that you find in the bible. God allows people to have choice, to do meaningful things, to matter.
So, since this blog is too long as it is, I will stop for today by saying that God could micro-manage in that way, the scripture seems pretty clear that God does not. God is both omnipotent and omniscient, just not in the way all too many people ascribe to him.
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